We take in so much, everyday!
Mentally ingesting...
What we see, hear, feel...even unconsciously...
but how do we rid ourselves of the waste?
On top of this, what if you are one of many (such as myself) conditioned to ingest, but never really digest...
don't cry...
pick yourself up by the bootstraps...
suck it up...
there are no problems, only solutions
Ok...sounds good. And in many cases, these mantras have gotten me through tough times.
On the other hand...
I learned to build walls. Tricky walls. Walls that did not protect me from the incoming, but blocked any visible emotion.
I gave the perception of being numb, but I felt...
emotion stacking on top of emotion; trickling over emotion...
tears that never surfaced.
I was full, but didn't know how to rid myself of all that mental waste.
Anger. All of that pent-up emotion manifested itself through anger.
Slightly helpful, in that I released some kind of feeling, but I never dealt with the core issues rotting in my soul.
Then, I thought writing would be another healthy release. I could be candid without judgement, or exposure. Yes...this was true until my privacy was invaded.
Now what...
back to anger.
I even tried to release emotion through yoga, belly dance, Starbucks...
And then finally, I felt...out loud.
I began digesting AND ridding myself of waste...
process of thought...
tears...
vocal honesty...
writing...
laughter...
Interesting that we have to figure this out on our own.
I mean, we eat...literally...and our bodies do the rest.
We ingest, mentally, and then...
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this is beautiful Yoli. yes, we ingest and ingest and some peoples minds distribute what they ingest to their brains, hearts, souls and/or gut. sometimes they go to all these places (sounds like in your case) and sometimes they just go to one or two places. while some minds don't dwell or digest any information they take in....or perhaps, at least not in a way that they allow to affect them.
ReplyDeletei guess we can't really determine what we ingest but we can determine how we digest it. and perhaps more importantly...how we regurgitate it (through anger, love, frustration, internalization, withdrawal, etc.).
i suppose the latter two remain our choice in life and nothing more....a choice. and perhaps, those choices can be the hardest and most glorious gifts we have in life.