Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Levels of Attraction

Recent events have led me to examine our levels of attraction. There are many levels; the key is to honor each one. With this in mind, I began to ask myself these questions: What makes us want? What triggers our desire? At what level of attraction do we respond? What are we missing when we bypass or fail to incorporate each level?

Before we go any further, I want you to consider an object of your desire and determine which of the following levels you are attracted on, or what your initial attraction was:  

Level I – Physical/Material: One or all of our five senses draw us in.
We are mesmerized by what we see. Beauty, as we perceive it, commonly triggers an attraction. We want to look at and admire the person or thing. The very sight of our attraction makes us feel good, and sometimes we want to be seen in the same light as what we perceive as beauty, as we translate it into a reflection of us.
We are hypnotized by scent. The sense of smell draws us in and lingers with us most of all. A scent can make you want to be close, want to taste, or want to touch. Even after our first encounter of a particular scent, we may find ourselves within its grasp again, revisiting the initial sensation it triggered. For instance, have you ever smelled someone’s perfume or cologne when they were not around, but the scent caused you to smile in thought of them? Scent is powerful. Even the scents we are not consciously aware of, such as pheromones.
We are seduced by sound. Have you heard the saying, “…is like music to my ears”? Sound is captivating. Whether it’s music, or the sound of someone’s voice, what we hear can offer comfort and/or trigger desire. Sound has an impact on our moods and what we feel, physically. We are attracted to certain vibrations.
We are indulged by taste. Some things in life are so delicious, leaving us wanting more! There are pleasurable sensations throughout our being when our taste buds are aroused.
We are satisfied by touch. Whether we are giving or receiving, touch can be magical, and often leaves us in want. Touch is not limited to hands, we touch in many ways, and each way can lead to desire.  

Level II – Emotional: Our heart guides us, allowing us to honor what we feel in our attraction.

Level III – Soul/Core: Our inner-voice interjects, integrating our needs with our want.  

Level IV – Spiritual: We connect with ourselves, on all levels, understanding our TRUE connection with our attraction.

The physical/material level is all about self. When we are attracted on this first level, and remain there, we are in the realm of superficial desire. This often leads to disappointment when our rose-colored glasses fade to neutral.

On the other hand, the remaining three levels connect us to our attraction, deeper within AND outside of ourselves. This is where we can experience attraction, full-bodied. But does this really matter to us?

I recently found myself in upset over an attraction, which was strictly level one. In this space, I created expectations without being honest with myself. I didn’t acknowledge where I was in the attraction sphere. Once I stepped back, into the role of neutral observer, I was able to accept the truth that I didn’t want to face; I was being shallow. The foundation of my attraction was weak because I wasn’t interested in going beyond the physical/material. Even more, I built a story on top of this fragile base, only to find my delusion fragmented. I was checked by reality – healthy attraction is deeper than the eyes can see. Fortunately, I was able to recognize this lesson, as it opened my eyes to what I truly desire. It also acted as a wake-up call, reminding me that the outcome of our attraction will only go as deep as the level through which we experience it.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


Recently, I have been thinking about the phases of life, the cycles of relationships within those phases, and how we are affected by all of it.

I guess I’m at an age where major shifts happen in regards to relationships and life itself. The most jarring of these apparent shifts is being at this age where friends are losing their parents (physically). It makes me stop and give thanks…and wonder…and changes my perception of life as a whole. In fact, I used to question if I would need to care for my mother one day, and the thought alone used to cause me to feel stress and worry. Now I hope to have the opportunity.

Then of course, there are the “romantic” relationships that have come in waves, only to wash up on empty shores and recede despite our efforts. No matter how much we fight for it, some parts of today will not reach tomorrow…and that can be a tough pill to swallow, but we do. Think about it; how many times have you been a part of a relationship that ended with a broken heart (yours, theirs, or both)? Do you walk away only clinging to the painful ending, or are you able to remember the good that made you fall in love in the first place? There was probably something that you can give thanks for, even if it’s thanks for being strong enough to let go.

I also find it fascinating how certain people are key to our early development, and no matter how close you were in the process, you can become strangers over the years. Or on the other hand, there are the friendships that cannot be touched or phased by distance and time. No matter how much reason has replaced communication, there are some friendships that linger in silence and always pick up where you left off.

In most of these events and relationships, there is growth through love and heartache. At the end of the day, the appreciation we show for the shared experiences is what makes our connections rich and everlasting. I believe that if we simply acknowledge to ourselves how someone has impacted our life, or how their very presence made a difference in who we are, we energize love and gratitude that will forever radiate throughout the universe.

We dance in and out of each other’s lives. We hold on and let go, whether knowingly or unwillingly. We are a part of one journey, broken in to individualized journeys…fortunate that paths weave in and out of each other. We impact, influence, guide, and redirect each other. The perception we hold, positive or negative, is completely up to us. But can you agree that it would better serve us to see the beauty in endings? Why would we choose to allow the beauty of our experiences slip away, by holding on to the less than beautiful aspects? Love lingers.

Moving forward, what elements will you leave imprinted in the lives you touch? Which imprints have others left in you that leave you standing in gratitude? Touch lovingly and all will end in love.