Poetry

poetry is the movement of time...
the experience within the experience...
poetry is love and life...
the poet, merely a translating observer
-Yolanda Williams

Levels of Attraction

Recent events have led me to examine our levels of attraction. There are many levels; the key is to honor each one. With this in mind, I began to ask myself these questions: What makes us want? What triggers our desire? At what level of attraction do we respond? What are we missing when we bypass or fail to incorporate each level?

Before we go any further, I want you to consider an object of your desire and determine which of the following levels you are attracted on, or what your initial attraction was:  

Level I – Physical/Material: One or all of our five senses draw us in.
• We are mesmerized by what we see. Beauty, as we perceive it, commonly triggers an attraction. We want to look at and admire the person or thing. The very sight of our attraction makes us feel good, and sometimes we want to be seen in the same light as what we perceive as beauty, as we translate it into a reflection of us.
• We are hypnotized by scent. The sense of smell draws us in and lingers with us most of all. A scent can make you want to be close, want to taste, or want to touch. Even after our first encounter of a particular scent, we may find ourselves within its grasp again, revisiting the initial sensation it triggered. For instance, have you ever smelled someone’s perfume or cologne when they were not around, but the scent caused you to smile in thought of them? Scent is powerful. Even the scents we are not consciously aware of, such as pheromones.
• We are seduced by sound. Have you heard the saying, “…is like music to my ears”? Sound is captivating. Whether it’s music, or the sound of someone’s voice, what we hear can offer comfort and/or trigger desire. Sound has an impact on our moods and what we feel, physically. We are attracted to certain vibrations.
• We are indulged by taste. Some things in life are so delicious, leaving us wanting more! There are pleasurable sensations throughout our being when our taste buds are aroused.
• We are satisfied by touch. Whether we are giving or receiving, touch can be magical, and often leaves us in want. Touch is not limited to hands, we touch in many ways, and each way can lead to desire.  

Level II – Emotional: Our heart guides us, allowing us to honor what we feel in our attraction.

Level III – Soul/Core: Our inner-voice interjects, integrating our needs with our want.  

Level IV – Spiritual: We connect with ourselves, on all levels, understanding our TRUE connection with our attraction.

The physical/material level is all about self. When we are attracted on this first level, and remain there, we are in the realm of superficial desire. This often leads to disappointment when our rose-colored glasses fade to neutral.

On the other hand, the remaining three levels connect us to our attraction, deeper within AND outside of ourselves. This is where we can experience attraction, full-bodied. But does this really matter to us?

I recently found myself in upset over an attraction, which was strictly level one. In this space, I created expectations without being honest with myself. I didn’t acknowledge where I was in the attraction sphere. Once I stepped back, into the role of neutral observer, I was able to accept the truth that I didn’t want to face; I was being shallow. The foundation of my attraction was weak because I wasn’t interested in going beyond the physical/material. Even more, I built a story on top of this fragile base, only to find my delusion fragmented. I was checked by reality – healthy attraction is deeper than the eyes can see. Fortunately, I was able to recognize this lesson, as it opened my eyes to what I truly desire. It also acted as a wake-up call, reminding me that the outcome of our attraction will only go as deep as the level through which we experience it.

Endings

Recently, I have been thinking about the phases of life, the cycles of relationships within those phases, and how we are affected by all of it.

I guess I’m at an age where major shifts happen in regards to relationships and life itself. The most jarring of these apparent shifts is being at this age where friends are losing their parents (physically). It makes me stop and give thanks…and wonder…and changes my perception of life as a whole. In fact, I used to question if I would need to care for my mother one day, and the thought alone used to cause me to feel stress and worry. Now I hope to have the opportunity.

Then of course, there are the “romantic” relationships that have come in waves, only to wash up on empty shores and recede despite our efforts. No matter how much we fight for it, some parts of today will not reach tomorrow…and that can be a tough pill to swallow, but we do. Think about it; how many times have you been a part of a relationship that ended with a broken heart (yours, theirs, or both)? Do you walk away only clinging to the painful ending, or are you able to remember the good that made you fall in love in the first place? There was probably something that you can give thanks for, even if it’s thanks for being strong enough to let go.

I also find it fascinating how certain people are key to our early development, and no matter how close you were in the process, you can become strangers over the years. Or on the other hand, there are the friendships that cannot be touched or phased by distance and time. No matter how much reason has replaced communication, there are some friendships that linger in silence and always pick up where you left off.

In most of these events and relationships, there is growth through love and heartache. At the end of the day, the appreciation we show for the shared experiences is what makes our connections rich and everlasting. I believe that if we simply acknowledge to ourselves how someone has impacted our life, or how their very presence made a difference in who we are, we energize love and gratitude that will forever radiate throughout the universe.

We dance in and out of each other’s lives. We hold on and let go, whether knowingly or unwillingly. We are a part of one journey, broken in to individualized journeys…fortunate that paths weave in and out of each other. We impact, influence, guide, and redirect each other. The perception we hold, positive or negative, is completely up to us. But can you agree that it would better serve us to see the beauty in endings? Why would we choose to allow the beauty of our experiences slip away, by holding on to the less than beautiful aspects? Love lingers.

Moving forward, what elements will you leave imprinted in the lives you touch? Which imprints have others left in you that leave you standing in gratitude? Touch lovingly and all will end in love.

Solamente

There is no substitution
for your touch
nothing
can simulate your kiss
eyes closed
looking for remnants of
slight accuracy
but only you
will suffice

No hay sustitución
para su contacto
nada
puede simular tu beso
los ojos cerrados
en busca de restos de
exactitud ligera
pero sólo ti
que será suficiente

It Feels...

amazing
in this shared
light
I shine
as you shine
warm
and
wonderful
illuminating
love
and
pure joy
infectious
harmony
and
it feels
beautifully
radiant
as
we radiate
lovingly
attuned to
the natural
state of
spirit

Sit with Yourself...

…not necessarily in standard meditation, but it’s something to try.

We pick up a lot of things on the road of life. And even when we think we’ve left something behind, it usual resonates deep within us, adding weight that we choose not to pinpoint - but why? Surely this journey can be a bit lighter. Let’s acknowledge the weight, and then set it free.

Start by sitting still, or lying still – all that matters is that you are still, and free from distraction. Yes, including your cell phone – turn the ringer off!

Now focus your attention inward, allowing your thoughts to come zooming back from the Universe, and center in your heart. Let the essence of who you are shine, and feel the glow within your belly. Any part of yourself you gave to another person, or to the world – call it back to you. Your love, compassion, hurt, anger, joy, intimacy…all of it…welcome it all back home. Sit with those feelings, knowing you’re present and in your body…all of you.

Now, notice what thoughts and/or feelings arise. Listen carefully and allow yourself to feel it all, but as a third party. Look at your thoughts, and listen to your thoughts as an observer. If these were the thoughts and feelings of another person, how would you view them? Any differently than you would if you were emotionally tied to the thoughts and feelings? Probably, and you will most likely be able to be more rational with yourself, finding resolution to things that may have been left undone.

While you are here, noticing/observing yourself – take note of who you are. How have you been affected? What situations affect you? What makes you smile, cry, or scream? What makes you feel strong, or weak? Without the influence of other people’s opinions, or worldviews, what are your true desires? What does your heart sound like? Are there parts you would like to work on? Are there parts you can now proudly accept? Address your fears, doubts, and regrets head on – here is where you revoke their power. Now can you sit here and forgive yourself…love yourself?

Sit here and breathe in who you are. You are beautiful. You are unique. You are divine. You are love.

Namaste.

Contracts...

Relationships, like all situations in life, offer opportunities to learn and grow. Sometimes the lessons are wrapped in petals, and other times the lessons seem to be all thorns. Either way, the most important element is choice - our choice to bloom, or wilt.

Recently I was told that we are entitled to walk away from relationships, guilt free, if we recognize the lessons within them. The choice is ours – it is our contract, and we say when it has been fulfilled. On the other hand, it may be the other person who wants to end the contract. Let them. Regardless of which side it has ended on…if it has ended, it has ended. See the lessons, and be thankful for whatever you learned. You have grown.

Love will undoubtedly linger, as it should – it doesn’t die, or adhere to direction.

Stay or go; we should act in love, always.

If what is being thrown at us isn’t loving, or we are not acting in love – back up. Be honest in your evaluation of the situation. Does your contract need to be altered, or has it reached its end? Were the lessons for you, or them – or both? We know in our hearts when a situation isn’t “good” for us. We know when we’re being unkind, simply because we have outgrown the situation. We know when it’s over.

Sometimes ‘goodbye’ is the loving thing to say.

Ego-Stroke

Instead of stroking the ego, shouldn’t we smack it?

When we ego-stroke, the actions are usually of no benefit to anyone but self, and usually at the expense of reality. Is this really what needs to be done in order to develop confidence? Do we not know self worth without expansion of ego?

I believe the opposite to be true. Without need of egotism to maintain self-assurance, I believe we then have the potential to radiate beautifully. Then, and only then, can we shine and admire the shine of others. There is no need to diminish the light of another for yours to be seen. And if you disagree, well – I think you need to check your ego.

Ego lies and paints exquisitely over truth. The paint eventually cracks though, exposing the lies ego tried to disguise as reality. Why bother? Can you really feel good by creating false perceptions? Regardless of the portrait you present, you know how ‘ugly’ the picture is even if others do not. And this truth will rot in your core until you smack ego and become honest. Be true to you.

Yes, ego is a troublemaker. Aside from creating false realities, ego has a way of making us act with ill intent. You know what I’m talking about. Think of how many times ego urged you to say hateful things to intentionally hurt another. How many times has ego encouraged you to act in spite, or to use manipulation to make you seem to have the upper hand? Trust me…that kind of ball will certainly deflate in your court.

Test yourself. Think before you act. Think before you react. What is your intention? Is it good, or just a maneuver to save face, or boost your ego? Is the action or reaction honest? Is it really what you want to say, or do? Consider yourself, while still considering others. We are connected.

Heart-Stroke. Ego-Smack. It will make you a better person.

When the Lights Went Out

San Diego paused yesterday. The whole county lost power from around 3:45 pm, to 10:50 pm. Yes, we were without electricity for seven hours, and it was over 90 degrees. Initially, some people worried, not only because of the length of time, but because the power outage was so widespread. Grocery stores and restaurants closed, you couldn’t utilize ATM machines, some people were stuck in elevators, traffic was a cluster of hot and irritable motorist, and others were running out of gas – left and right.

As chaotic as it was for some, others, like myself, enjoyed the forced action of socializing. People were outside talking to neighbors, and kids were actually playing outdoors.

For many, dinner became an issue. We had to be creative. I had chicken, but couldn’t use the stove. My friend had a grill, but didn’t have any food. Solution: my friend brought over the grill and we ate barbeque chicken. It’s was great! My neighbors even came out with their own food for the grill, and everyone offered to share what they had – food, drinks, candles, etc. Even more, the darkness of the city exposed beautiful stars. It was a beautiful night, filled with love and laughter.

Interesting how communal the city became when the lights went out. It could have been such an inconvenience, and for some I’m sure it was, but for many it was a much needed dose of community!

Healing Self...

If you believe, as I do, that we are made of energy, surrounded by energy, and all things are energetic – it is then feasible that we can utilize energy to heal ourselves; body, mind, and spirit.

In my quest to heal myself, I became a certified Reiki Practitioner (RP), and incorporated daily meditation into my life. Not only have I noticed change and growth within myself, I have also become more aware of all that surrounds me. Even more, I’ve become conscious of the energy I put out into the universe, and the energy that invades my space. We affect everything, and with that comes great responsibility.

One of the most significant challenges I’ve been faced with is recognizing and attempting to let go of my ego. Ego seems to be in constant conflict with the heart, with truth, and with the higher self. With this, I have found it essential to think about the ‘why’ and reasoning behind my actions; to be honest about the consequences of my actions; and ultimately act in kindness, always. This practice has helped me check my ego on several occasions.

Another tool I’ve used in my healing practice is to recite the mantra, ‘Just for today…’ which is the first line of the Reiki Principals (…I will not be angry. I will not worry. I will be grateful. I will do my work honestly. I will be kind to myself, and all living things.). That phrase alone has helped me to be present. It can be challenging not to think about tomorrow, to let go of yesterday, or to maintain balance of emotions. Being present helps create awareness and helps reduce unnecessary stressors that we place on ourselves.

Then of course, there is importance in balancing oneself: balance of mind, body, and spirit. As I mentioned above, I practice Reiki and meditation, daily, in order to heal. This includes balancing flow of energy, opening and aligning chakras, elongating moments of inner-peace, and grounding.

Healing yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Take time everyday to connect with body, mind, and spirit. Find harmony in balance.

Namaste!

Manifest?

If actualizing our manifestations were as simple as focused intent, I would have already won the lottery jackpot. If creating our reality was as easy as visualizing it, I would have traveled the world by now, only to return to my dream home, here in California.

My determination, coupled with my need to believe that I can manifest my own destiny, will not allow me to stop intending and visualizing, no matter the gruesome waiting period.
I’ve come to the realization that there must be a missing link. There must be a piece to the laws of attraction puzzle that I need to locate. My other concern is that perhaps all things will happen in their own time, not ours. But is there a way we can compromise on timing…as in meeting half way, meaning RIGHT NOW.

My impatience, while being forced to wait, reminds me that I need to check my ego. If I won the lottery ten years ago, I may have made some poor financial decisions; where as if I won today, I’d use better judgment – now having a clearer picture of what I want in life. I am forced to make the picture clearer as I wait, because I have no other choice but to plan until the jackpot check has my name on it.

Ahhhh – could this be the missing piece? Does the picture need to be crystal-clear for actualization? Do we need to make baby-manifesting-steps that lead to the bigger-picture of the manifestation? Perhaps.

Through patience comes clarity, and through clarity comes better decision making. Once our minds are clear, would we even want the same things? Is it possible that what we think we want is not the truth of our subconscious mind? Are we blocking ourselves?

Community

It’s amazing to me that we still create separation in regards to whose problem “it” is. Our planet. Our problem.

You can’t turn on the television, or log on the computer without news of destruction and dismay occurring, worldwide. And while there are many concerned about the welfare of others, there are also many that are not concerned with the world at large. Too many are only concerned with what they believe to affect their immediate lives. Well, again – our planet, our problem.

The turmoil may start in one concentrated area, but the impact is always greater than the starting point. Whether we are affected financially, emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc – the root cause does not always stem from our own backyard, so to speak.

On the flip side, the solution(s) will have greater impact if efforts are communal. The saying “It takes a village” comes to mind. It does, and the scope is greater than we seem to realize. Our village is global.

We have to wake up.

Today's Meditation

Today I was consumed with noise, only until I recognized the silence surrounding me.

My mind was racing with thoughts of tomorrow, the next hour, the next minute…the chaos happening in London, to the news occurring here in the United States. Then the noise became louder as I realized how consumed I was. I began to scream, internally, but quickly caught myself. I paused…looked around, and noticed the stillness in-between movements. I heard the silence in-between sound. In that very moment, I began meditation. It was beautiful, and the first time I was provoked to meditate without premeditation.

Take time to acknowledge moments of stillness. Create moments of stillness.

Namaste.

Spilled Milk

Spilled Milk

I Held My Hand Out...

to you
until it was numb
knowing you’d never come
to the senses
I chose…
so far from your own
It’s just memories
that blurred the present
and reminded me of all
that was beautiful
while my fingertips lingered
in empty air
wishing for some sign
of your presence

The Ritual...

began with the eyes
penetrating beauty
that spoke
like soft, sweeping winds
and embraced me strong…
kept me longing for
the next action…
the next motion…
the next breath…
immersed with intention
in intense silence
as love hovered
above, below and around us

I cry for you...

and I don’t even know you
Can’t recall your voice
and have no memory of
your face
I am suddenly and
unwillingly
aware of your absence
Did you say goodbye?
Why did you choose to go?
Who were you…
before it all fell apart?
I have far too many questions
to count
and wouldn’t know what to do
with the answers
if
they were ever given
I don’t want to create an image
based on other’s perceptions…
I don’t want edited versions of the truth
sown empathetically as whole
and
I don’t want a picture painted
with contrived shades of you…
They do not know which colors
would have captured
who you should have been
to me
So I cry for you…
for the memories that have
escaped me
and those that
never reached us

My Arms Stretched Out...

like an infant
as my fingertips
painted thoughts
across the sky
and the earth
formed herself
perfectly around
my toes
leaving stains of herself
on the balls of my feet…
I left my mark in her
while her tears
cascaded like dew
beneath me…
She understood
and encouraged me
to continue with
my thoughts…
my feelings…
my fingertips
now dancing
boldly
in odd strokes
of white
against the
blushing blue
canvas
my laughter
and sadness
combined
because there was room
for it all

"Nine"

Bearing water, Aquarius reigned alone
and the earth was still...
no day, or night
She poured recklessly
hoping her love would fall upon an understanding heart
and that her passion would be felt and reciprocated
One by one, she counted each drop
calculating how much of herself was being sacrificed
in search of Love

Analyzing each tear that mirrored her loneliness,
Virga caught each drop to prevent exposure...
not realizing she was also collecting the rain of Aquarius
As her hands filled with moisture, she drank...
ingesting her love unknowingly
Day after day, she grew stronger and her tears began to dry
but her hands continued to fill
To make sense of it all, Virga emerged through the clouds
and went straight to the source

No words were spoken as their energy caused a beautiful collision
Recognizing the strength of Aquarius
Virga knew she had to present herself with a touch of masculinity
and in that moment she transformed herself into Virgo
two hours, eleven minutes and two seconds
their signs became symbolic of the sun
and as love embodied them, Aquarius became Pisces and Virgo became Aquarius
birthing the moon and welcoming night
Yesterday became today and today will become tomorrow

One Piece Too Far...

from whole
while past conversations
echo
too few and far in between
Even your scent
dances relentlessly
on my pillow
and there’s no promise
of one last
anything

Without the excitement
of waves
calm and crashing
or romantic winds
caressing me
as I fall…
I want it all
even more

Close enough
to taste
but not mine enough
to touch
and all at the expense
of certainty

Free will
Has given a permission
that rivals fate
and smirks
unjustly
in the eye of destiny…

All I have to do
is remain
motionless
to find joy in
partial numbness
or let go
of what I cannot have
entirely